Home for the holidaze crap
This is from today’s Dear Abby:
DEAR ABBY: For the first time in eight years, my husband and I will be staying in a hotel when we visit his parents for Christmas. While I love his family, their home is small, and we are relegated to a trundle bed and must share the sole bathroom with the entire family. It’s impossible for us to be comfortable with so many people in such close quarters. We assumed that sleeping in a nearby hotel and visiting during the days and evenings would be a fair compromise.We were shocked at their reaction when we discussed our plans with the family. They are very hurt about our decision and extremely offended. They are begging us to reconsider and stay in their home.
Are our actions selfish and cold-hearted? We mean no harm, and are so surprised at the strong reaction that we’re starting to question our judgment. Should we travel and stay in the hotel, or just scrap the trip altogether? — STAYING HOME NEXT YEAR
DEAR STAYING HOME: No, you, your husband and his parents should discuss this more fully. You didn’t mention how many family members will be spending the holidays in that small house. While I sympathize with family traditions, as children grow into adulthood certain realities come into play.
If you prefer to sleep in a hotel and have a private bathroom and the ability to have a private conversation if you wish, I don’t think it’s too much to ask. But I’d hate to see you cancel a family visit because of the pressure that is being exerted. That’s in no one’s best interests.
Yes, Christine the Curmudgeon agrees that these people are adults, and they have the right to sleep wherever they damned well please. If Mr. Curmudgeon and I were to decide to go to Cleveland to visit his family, I would only agree to go if we can stay at a hotel, and not in her house. He agrees to this, his mother drives him nuts, too, and spending so much as one night under her roof would drive us both insane. Also, as far as she is concerned, we would be staying at the Hotel Dick Cheney…the one that is in “an undisclosed location”. The reason for this is that if she knew where the hotel was, she’d go there and drive us nuts, or call all the time, and we’d not get a moment of peace. Such as it is now, she doesn’t have our home phone number, nor does she even know that we have cell phones. I changed our landline number, with Mr. C’s full blessing, because she was calling all the time and leaving long, whiny messages (we also got Caller ID because of her, and I was screening the calls, not picking up if it was her). The fact is, once you get her on the phone, she DOES NOT SHUT UP.
I mean, I think I got a UTI once because of her. In our pre-Caller ID days, I had been expecting a call from someone else, and I picked up the phone when it rang, and it was her. She rambled on and on forever about people I don’t know and hope never to meet, and no matter how much I tried, I could not find a polite way to get her off the phone. Mr. C was not at home to take the phone and talk to her, so I could go and pee…I swear, I was holding it in for close to two hours. I just can’t bring myself to pee while on the phone, even when it’s MIL. I think it’s rude, and I also don’t get these women in the ladies room who are oin their cell phones while taking a leak.
Anyhoo, having to hold it in for too long can trigger a UTI, and I’m almost positive that one was due to her refusing to shut up. I guess I could have just hung up on her, or peed while on the phone, but then she’d only call Mr. C at work and bitch to him about how rude I am.
Anyhoo, enough about MIL. We’re not going to Cleveland to see her now, or any time soon. This is what she gets for being annoying. We can think of much better ways to spend our money and vacation time!
I don’t see why the couple in the Dear Abby letter even HAS to *discuss* this with anyone. Adults do NOT need Mommy & Daddy’s permission to book a hotel room. Personally, contrary to Abby’s advice, I WOULD put out the old *take it or leave it* ultimatum. As in, we stay at a hotel and you quitcherbitching about it, or we don’t come at all. One word of complaint about our choice of lodgings, and we leave, go back to our hotel, and enjoy the rest of our holiday in peace. Turn off the cell phones, and tell the front desk staff not to direct any calls to our room. Perhaps then, the whiny family will realize that we mean business, and they accept our choice to sleep at a hotel next time. They’re lucky we bother to come see them at all!
I like having privacy and down time. If I had to visit annoying family members, I’d like to be able to bitch about them on my blogs, Twitter, and Facebook, without anyone looking over my shoulder. Kind of hard to do that in a cramped house with no privacy! Sometimes I just want to unwind after a long day of holiday stuff by popping open a cold microbrew, surfing the web, reading blogs, even reading online diet pill reviews if I feel like it. Relatives tend to try to stuff you the death with holiday food, so perhaps diet pills might even be needed!
The bathroom thing is a big issue, too…see stuff about UTIs above. If I gotta go, I gotta go, and I can’t be waiting in line behind 43 other people just to take a leak. Having to hang out at their house and waiting in a long bathroom line is bad enough. I also don’t like having to take a shower while other people are beating on the door to get into the bathroom.
In any case, there are a million reasons why a hotel is a better place to sleep than a small overcrowded home. As far as I can see from the letter, this couple would be paying for it themselves, not asking Mommy and Daddy for the money to do so.
Yet, so many parents of adult children wonder why their kids never want to see them. How about treating us like ADULTS, let us have the privacy we deserve when we want it, and maybe we’d be more open to visiting you!
