Denial: Not just a river in Egypt
Christine the Curmudgeon often complains about other people’s bratty kids. I’ve noticed that the people who act the most defensive over my complaints are those whose kids are the worst behaved.
They are the ones who let their kids get away with murder, and then, when someone calls them out on Little Johnny’s behavior, they say “Oh, my Little Johnny would NEVER do that!” Never mind that a whole schoolyard full of kids and teachers saw Little Johnny punch some other kid…”oh, no, he would NEVER do that, he is such a nice boy. Must have been some other boy who looks like him.” And never mind that there have been repeated complaints about Little Johnny’s bullying behavior.
And never mind that all of the neighborhood babysitters tell Little Johnny’s parents that they they will no longer sit for them, Little Johnny has discipline problems and is too difficult to handle. So when Little Johnny’s parents want to go out to eat, or to a movie, they have to bring him along. And then they go whining to the media over how MEEEEEAN the managers of the restaurants and theatres are, because they kicked the family out. The managers said that Little Johnny was being very disruptive to other patrons, running around the place, screaming his head off, and picking fights with other kids. But, no, Little Johnny is not a bad boy…he’s just doing what boys do…right?
Here is a letter from today’s Dear Abby about such a “Little Johnny”. Only this one goes far beyond than just being a brat.
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, a couple built a home on the lot next to ours. From the time they moved in, we have been concerned about their 11-year-old son’s anti-social behavior. It began with him trying to coax our dog into his yard when we were trying to call her in. Then he started coming into our yard, playing roughly with our three small children and using vulgar language around our 8-year-old daughter.
He is no longer allowed in our yard and has been kicked out of three other homes in the neighborhood. The most recent incident occurred a few days ago, when he yelled a profanity at our daughter. I called his mother, and she told me her son would “never behave that way”!
Abby, this boy is creepy. I don’t trust him. He stands in his yard staring at us whenever we are outside. I’m worried his behavior will get worse. Other neighbors have seen him abuse his dog and other animals. His parents never watch him. What do we do? I’m worried about my children’s safety. — AFRAID IN WISCONSIN
DEAR AFRAID: You have described a child who is emotionally disturbed and parents who are in denial. Because the neighbors have seen him abuse animals, a report should be made to the police and the department of animal welfare in your community. This boy has no empathy for others and needs professional help. Until he gets it, you are wise to be concerned about your children. Keep a watchful eye.
This kid is a serious sociopath. He will NOT grow out of it, the only thing that will save him is if he gets therapy. People who abuse animals as children almost always grow up to kill people. Serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy abused animals when they were kids.
And it’s not just the letter-writer who has noticed problems with this kid. The fact that neighbors have seen and heard stuff, and also won’t let this boy play with there kids, is very telling.
Most of the kids I complain about simply need some good old-fashioned discipline, which they obviously are not getting. I don’t advocate beating kids, but there has to be some kind of punishment for bad behavior. These parents need to quit acting as if their kid is a perfect angel, especially when half the school/neighborhood/whoever is complaining about his behavior.
No kid is perfect, but the well-behaved ones that I see have parents who will not tolerate bad behavior. When they find out their kid did something bad, and it’s proven to be true, the good parents will dole out some sort of punishment….be it grounding, taking away TV and video games, or revoking some other privilege. Kids need to learn that bad behavior has its consequences, and will not be tolerated. Kid acting up in a restaurant or movie theatre? Well, then no more treats such as meals out and movies until they can behave properly in such places. It should not fall upon the management to kick these people out, when the kid is clearly being disruptive and won’t stop, good parents will simply choose to leave on their own, and dole out appropriate punishment at home.
But the kid in this Dear Abby letter is a far more severe case. Left untreated, this kid is gonna kill someone someday, and the idiot parents will still be in denial…”oh, my Little Johnny would NEVER kill anyone.” Never mind that there is scads of evidence that he did indeed commit murder.
The only way this boy can possibly be saved is if the letter-writer and her neighbors get together and go to the proper authorities with all they know and have seen. In this case, it’s not to punish the boy, but to help him. The ones who need to be punished here are the idiot parents who sat by and allowed their son’s behavior to get so bad.
They need to speak out, not just to help this boy, but for the safety of their own children.
