Move the hell up, jerk!
Christine the Curmudgeon is known for supermarket rants. Therefore, there is now an official category for them on this blog.
So I took the bus to The Evil Stop & Schlop today. I was only getting a few things, including some of that Silk soy milk stuff. The fact that I’m getting seriously menopausal here has made me do some reading, and I learned that drinking soymilk daily might help with those pesky hot flashes.
Since I was taking the bus, I didn’t use a cart, but a basket. After I got what I wanted, I headed for one of the *12 items or less* express lines. I would have made it there first, but some jerk with nothing but a mango cut in front of me. Since he only had that one thing, I didn’t beat him over the head with my shopping basket. But I was soon tempted to!
I’m holding my basket, which was a bit heavy. The guy in front of Jerko, who was buying cheap swill beer, was being rung up. But Jerko was still standing, blocking my way to the belt, with his lone mango on it, because he was too busy looking at some stupid Sudoku puzzle book on the magazine rack.
MOVE YOUR ASS! I wanted to yell. I put my basket on the floor, because it was getting too heavy.
It even took the cashier what seemed like forever to get Jerko’s attention, after Cheap Swill Beer Guy was gone, so she could ring up his stupid mango. Finally, he woke up. And then it took him forever to dig out the damned money to pay for the stupid mango.
Meanwhile, I was standing there with my money ready. You are in line. You are buying one (or a very few) things. Why not have your money ready for when it’s your turn? If you are planning to pay in coins, at least count the damned things out while in line, and DON’T look at the damned Sudoku book instead, okay?
I finally got checked out, and barely caught the next bus back. If I’d had to wait for the next one, I would have been on a bus with a million horrible brats from the high school, and then I’d be praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Jerko choked on his mango.
What the hell…he was annoying enough, I hope he choked on it anyway! 
And no, Jerko didn’t even buy the damned Sudoku book. What was he doing…trying to do the puzzle in his head while waiting? Sheesh!
