Christine the Curmudgeon

Holy gack!  just when Christine the Curmudgeon thought she had seen it all…behold…

It’s a British reality show about lazy-assed kids who never had to lift a finger, suddenly having to be on their own. I’ve seen spoiled brat kids, but never any this bad. I mean, it’s one thing for kids who think that laptop insurance means that if they break it, Mommy & Daddy will just buy them a new one. But these brats take it far beyond this.

When I see little kids at ball games behaving badly, and Mommy & Daddy do nothing about it – I have to wonder how many of them will end up like these young “adults” when they get older.

I weep for the future.

…it would be required by law that ANYONE who is in a position to deal with customers SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!  This is the UNITED STATES, we speak ENGLISH here.  If you want to live here, learn the damned language.  While you are learning it, you can always get a job where you aren’t dealing directly with the public.  Companies need to take mind of this; if they are looking to hire someone to operate a cash register, sell anything from bagels to mens ties to high-end electronics, the employees need to be able to properly communicate with the customers.

The other day, I was taking the bus from Boston’s South Station up to Manchester, NH, to go to the Fisher Cats game.  I was early, and was looking for someplace to grab a quick breakfast.  I was hoping to find a Dunkin’ Donuts there, but for some reason unknown to humankind, there is no Dunkin’ Donuts in South Station.  now what the hell is up with THAT?

Lacking Dunkin’ I went to Au Bon Pain.  Nobody there spike English very well, but the only other choice that I could see was McDonald’s, but since I wasn’t interested in getting the runs (which is what their crap food does to me, and is why I don’t eat it), Au Bon Pain it was.

I decided to make it as easy and fast as possible, so I ordered an onion bagel, not toasted, with cream cheese.  So she put the bagel, unsliced, a thingy of cream cheese, and napkins into the bag.  I paid and headed for the bus station.

About halfway there, I realized that I didn’t see her put a plastic knife into the bag, so I went back to get one.  The woman who waited on me was busy, so I asked some guy who wasn’t busy if I could please have a knife.  He looked at me as if I had three heads, clearly not understanding what it was I wanted.

I held up the Au Bon Pain bag, and tried to tell him that they forgot to give me a knife for my bagel.  He still didn’t get it.  I finally had to take the bagel out of the bag, pretend I had a knife, and made slicing motions.  He finally got a clue and gave me the damned knife.

Sheesh!  Good thing I was early, or else I might have missed my bus!  I’m sure that if it were a Dunkin’ Donuts, it probably wouldn’t have been any better.  In any case, it’s annoying and inconvenient and should be against the law to have these non-English speaking workers dealing with a public whose primary language is ENGLISH!

Christine the Curmudgeon sees him all the time.  Not just in the supermarket, but everywhere else, too.  Click HERE to see other scenarios featuring Annoying Cell Phone Guy.

This site is courtesy of Virgin Mobile, who happens to be the Official Cell Phone Carrier of the Curmudgeon Household.  As you can see, the videos are exaggerated.  But the way some of these people act, they’d may as well be talking that loud on a ginormous phone, as they do a lot to call attention to themselves.

One video they still need to make is Annoying Cell Phone Guy in Hospital.  Nothing is more annoying than being a patient in a hospital, trying to get some rest, only to have Annoying Cell Phone Guy yapping so loud, that his voice breaks all of the spirometers and other medical equipment.

On the site, you can also print up cards to hand to offending parties.  PleaseShutUp.com is a great website that warms my little curmudgeonly heart!

Yesterday, Christine the Curmudgeon went to the New Hampshire Fisher Cats game.  It was a rare weekday afternoon game, and they were having something called “Camp Day/Splash Day”.  Busloads upon busloads of summer camp groups descended upon MerchantsAuto.com Stadium for the event.  The “splash” part was provided by the Manchester Fire Department.  They brought a fire engine and parked it outside the ballpark, and a couple of firefighters with a hose sprayed water down onto a part of the seating area.  This area was clearly marked off as the “Splash Zone”, and they did give warnings when the splashing was to start.

Now you may wonder, WHY would Christine the Curmudgeon knowingly subject herself to this?  Kids running around all over the place?  Well, I love the team, and I wanted to enjoy a rare afternoon game.  And I knew that there was an easy escape:  the Sam Adams Bar & Grill, which is out in left field.  You can go in there and still watch the game.  I will tell you right now if the Sam Adams bar were not there, there’d be no way in hell that I’d go to a game like this.  I would go completely crazy!

Earlier in the season, I had gone to a game where they were busing in school groups, as opposed to camp groups, being that school was in session at the time.  At that game, I think I lasted about 4 or 5 innings in the seats, before I could take no more, and retreated to the Sam bar to watch the rest of the game in relative peace.  So I knew exactly what to expect at this Camp Day thing – a lot of ill-behaved kids running around, getting up every five seconds to go to the concession stands, and generally annoying the crap out of me.

I got there about 45 minutes before the start of the game, and stopped in to visit Sam for a beer.  Another downside about having large groups of kids are longer lines at the concessions.  Even when it’s not Camp Day, whenever I’m in line behind people with kids, they take FOREVER to decide what they want and place their order.  This ballpark does not have any “beer-only” concession stands; there are some small stands that have a couple of types of beer, but they also have a few other things, such as peanuts, soft pretzels, and sodas.  So sometimes I get stuck in line behind gangs of kids there, as well.

So I drank my first Sam Summer of the day at the bar, as I didn’t have to wait in line for it.  Also, I figured that I’d need some fortification for when I did get to the seats, no doubt I’d have to kick kids out of them.  Yes, I said SEATS, I had bought two seats, hoping that Mr. Curmudgeon could somehow sneak out of work and come with me.  But he couldn’t, so I went by myself.

After the National Anthem, I ordered a second beer, paid my tab, and took the beer out to my seats.  Sure enough, two little girls in camp T-shirts were sitting in the seats, so I kicked them out.  I made it quite clear that I was ticketed for BOTH seats.  The camp group that these girls was a part of was sitting in front of me, and one of the adults was complaining about the fact that there were not enough seats foe their group.  They did not like that I dared to show up made it clear that the two seats I kicked the girls out of were mine.  No doubt they bought the cheapest seats and them decided to sit wherever they wanted.  If they had just sat in the actual seats they were ticketed for, it would not have been a problem, now, would it?  Jerks.

None of these people, kids or adults, were watching the game.  The kids kept getting up every five minutes, a bunch of them were in my row, and I had to keep getting up to let them by (I was on the aisle, I always buy aisle seats).  This one woman, who was one of this group’s handlers, spent the entire time fetching food and sodas for the kids.  She was not a camp staffer, she was a parent volunteer trip chaperon.  She did not look like she was having any fun.  She’d probably rather be at home, watching the soaps on her LCD TV. I suspect that some of these kids would also have rather been at home, watching Spongebob or some such crap on TV, as well.

Anyhoo, I finished the beer and got up to get another one.  Since I was by myself and didn’t have Mr. C or anyone else to guard my seat, I draped this small golf towel that I carry in my bag over the back of the seat, as a way to make it clear that I had not left.  I did not want to come back and find kids sitting in my seats again.

I came back with a new beer, and no one was in my seats.  But there were two boys in the seats directly in front of me who were not there before.  I put my beer in the cup holder, and just barely rescued it when the boys started having a “sword fight” with those big foam fingers that every ballpark in the world sells, and one of said foam fingers almost took a dunk into my $5.75 Sam Summer.  I managed to rescue it and not use the cup holder any more.  That’s when I decided that I’d had enough, and as soon as I finished that beer, I was going back to the Sam bar.  I lasted in the seats for only 4 1/2 innings.

It seemed that every adult at this game who did not have kids in tow had the same idea as I did.  It was busy, but not too mobbed, as not every many people take off work to go to a afternoon game in the middle of the week.  They do allow kids in the Sam bar, but no one is going to bring a Hugh Jass group of them in there.  So it’s pretty safe from school and camp groups!

So my day was not ruined, not at all.  Part of it was that I knew what to expect going in, and knew that there was an escape other than having to leave the ballpark in disgust.  There’s this other ballpark, LeLacheur Park, home of the Lowell Spinners.  At this place, it’s like Camp Day every day, ill-behaved kids running around all over the place, and there is no escape except to leave completely.  No Sam Adams Bar & Grill there!  So we just don’t go there anymore.  That ballpark is hell on earth, let me tell you!

Sitting in the Sam with my beer and my hot dogs (why stand in a long-assed line when you can get it served to you at your seat in the bar?), I thought about how lucky I am.  I felt so glad that I do not have to live the life of the woman who did nothing but fetch and deliver food and stuff to those bratty kids.  Unlike her, when  the kids got to be too annoying, I could just get up and leave, and not get thrown in jail or anything.  I was free to go to the Sam bar and have more beer in relative peace.

I was also feeling grateful that I did not have to ride all the way home on a school bus full of these kids.  I got to ride home on the nice, quiet Boston Express Bus.  It’s air-conditioned, has comfy seats, free WiFi, even a restroom in the back.  And no screaming kids.  They have rather strict rules about being quiet and staying in your seat, and not bothering other passengers.  And best of all, I did not have to take one or more of these little monsters home with me.  Mr. Curmudgeon picked me up at the subway station, and we went out for dinner.  And then went home to the Curmudgeon Cats.

Whether you are staunchly child-free, or on the fence about whether or not to reproduce, a visit to Camp Day at the ballpark is a good idea.  For the fence-sitters, it will make you think about things, if this is what you really want your life to be like.  For me, it made me all the more glad that Mr. C had a vasectomy years ago, and reinforced the fact that we have absolutely NO regrets over this choice.

And yes, it is ALWAYS a choice.  ALWAYS.

So Christine the Curmudgeon has heard that the CEO of Spirit Airlines considers luggage to be “not essential” when traveling. (Story here; contains auto-play video)

What is even more of a joke is that by having cheap fares, and then nickel-and-diming people for everything else, Ben Baldanza says that this policy has “allowed many to travel who otherwise simply could not afford to do so.”

But what the hell is the point, if poor people can maybe afford the fare, but not the luggage fees?  Yes, Spirit will let you bring a backpack on board for free, as long as it fits under the seat.  But I’m sure you have noticed that there is not much under-seat room on airplanes these days.  So what are these people supposed to do?  Wear the same thing every day while on vacation?  Or waste half their vacation time doing laundry?  The whole thing is ridiculous!

And how come Southwest can still have cheap fares, yet they still don’t charge for a checked bag or carry-on baggage?  They also do not charge for soft drinks and snacks.  You want booze, you gotta pay for that, but that’s pretty much anywhere.  The fact is, the Spirit people are just greedy.

But think about it – if this jerk says that luggage is non-essential for flying, what will be next?  Will other industries decided that certain things are not necessary, and charge extra for them?  For example, grocery stores charging $5 – 10 to use a cart?  How about having a beer festival that already charges $30-40 to get in, only to find that there is an additional fee for using the restrooms?

Baseball parks could really rake it in.  Buy a hot dog, and when you go to the condiment station, you have to insert money to be able to get mustard, ketchup, relish…even napkins!  Did it rain just before the game?  That’ll be $5 to have an usher dry off your seat for you!    That additional fee to use the restrooms could apply here, too, maybe even charging more if you use toilet paper, soap, and paper towels!

How about mail order companies charging extra if you want protective packaging materials?  Don’t pay it, your stuff will be broken when you get it.  Wanna watch those Netflix DVDs?  Won’t be long before in addition to the monthly fees, you will have to log into the site and pay a fewe before the DVDs you just got in the mail will play.  And so it goes…

Well, if this is the wave of the future, then how come I don’t get to decide what things that other people do to me are “not essential” and charge them for it?  Unsolicited phone calls and door-knocking?  That’ll be $100, please!  Your kids are kicking the back of my seat at the ballpark, on the bus, plane, theater?  That’s going to cost you $50.  Blog comment spammers should have to pay $100 per spam comment.

Hey, if the airlines can get rich by nickel-and-diming people, so should I!