Christine the Curmudgeon

Christine the Curmudgeon doesn’t know what the deal is, but do long holiday weekends bring out the idiots of the world, more often that usual, that is?

Mr. Curmudgeon and I went up to New Hampshire for the weekend, to see a couple of New Hampshire Fisher Cats games.  We have our preferred seats, in the back row and on the aisle, in the premium box section, and we get them whenever we can.  Next year, we are getting season tickets for them, to be sure we have them whenever we want them.

We chose these seats for several reasons.  Being in the back row of this section does away with the problem of little kids behind us kicking our seats, yet we can still see very well.  Also, we don’t like climbing up and down too many stairs, so being near the concourse works well for us.

We always sit on the aisle now, because we’ve found that some people are very inconsiderate when we needed to get past to go to the restroom or whatever.  The last time we were stuck with seats in the middle of a row, I had to go and pee.  However, this one group of people near the aisle had a ton of luggage and crap blocking the way, and refused to move it when I politely said, “excuse me, please”.  I got louder and louder asking them to please let me by, but they ignored me.  Finally, I yelled that if I was not able to get by within five seconds, I was going to pee my pants right there and then.  That finally made them move their crap.  Why do people have to bring so much damned luggage to a ballgame?  The rule should be if it doesn’t fit under the seat without blocking the way, they can’t bring it in.  Period.  So, we decided we’d rather get up and let other people by, than deal with selfish asses who won’t move.

Premium box was chosen first, because they are the best, and second, the really horrible people with the brattiest kids tend to sit over in the cheapest seats.  At this ballpark, the cheapest seats are $6.00, and our premium boxes are $12.00.  N o discount for kids, at least not in our section.

But sometimes, there are exceptions, such as on Sunday, the 4th of July.  We had our usual seats, but we were surrounded by idiots, to our left in the row, and in front of us.

This group in our row, who sat just to the left of me, wanted our seats.  They got up and down A LOT.  Once, as they went by for the fifth time in one inning, this one guy said in what he thought was a joking tone of voice that we should wish that we were NOT on the aisle.  We chose to ignore him.  Later, I was texting something to Facebook, and I was holding the phone close to my eyes so I could see.  I’m not a fast texter, and the keys on the phone are kind of small.  I heard the jerk make a snide remark about this to his white trashy bimbo wife.  I decided to ignore him once again, but I was feeling more and more uncomfortable sitting near these losers.

Onto the group in front.  It was a large family group, and they had five seats directly in front of us, and another five seats directly in front of that.  There was a small toddler girl in the group, who was placed in the seat directly in front of me.  She was a bit bigger than the little kid in the stroller pictured here, but she was doing that same annoying squirming in the seat thing that many little kids are known to do.

She turned around and STARED at us.  We ignored her.  The she was putting her grubby, grabby little paws all over the place, and nearly dipped them into my beer which was sitting in the cup holder.  I grabbed it just in time to save it.  A Sam Adams Summer Ale is $5.75 as this place.  I have been known to pick out bugs that land in my beer at the game, but if that brat had dipped her grubby fingers into my beer, I’d have been too grossed out to drink it.  This kid was squirming all over, putting her hands on the seat, on the ground, chewing on the back of the seat, and then putting her hands in her mouth.  Definitely a walking, squirming little germ vector.  And I doubted that her idiot parents, who were ignoring her in favor of yap-yap-yapping with the other adults in their group, would have given me the $5.75 for a new beer.

It was one of those situations where we wanted to say something to the parents, but had the hunch that they’d react badly, and it would make us even more uncomfortable to be sitting there.

It was a good night to drink, and drink a LOT.  And just try to concentrate on the game, which was a really good one.  The Fisher Cats pitcher had a no-hitter going, and with each inning he got out of without a hit, the more exciting it got.  But I suspect that my idiot seat neighbors had no idea what was going on, none of them were watching the game.  The white trash people to the left were too busy yap-yap-yapping, and also ASSuming that in addition to being half-blind, I was also deaf.  Every time I got up and came back with another beer, they gave me dirty looks and made snide comments amongst themselves.  Hey, I’m the one getting drunk, yet I was behaving far better than they were!  They weren’t drinking at all.  The guy was especially being a jerk; I guess he was still mad because he wanted to sit in OUR seats and we wouldn’t let him.  He was in serious need of some colon cleanse products, as he had some serious stuff wedged up his ass that needed to come out, then maybe he’d be less of a jerk.

Around the end of the sixth inning, we finally felt so uncomfortable being near any of these people any longer, we decided to take refuse at the Sam Adams Bar & Grill, where we could get more beer, even after they stop selling beer on the concourse in the middle of the 7th, and drink it without Snarky Assholes on one side, and Little Miss GrubbyPaws in front.  From there, we could still watch the rest of the game, and we got to see Kyle Drabek get the no-hitter.  Thank goodness the Fisher Cats built that place there, it has gotten us away from many an asshole over the years, without having to leave the game completely.

Yeah, I admit that I do make snarky comments to Mr. C. about stupid people.  But I do it in a way that I can’t be overheard, and I NEVER, EVER, EVER would make a nasty comment about someone’s disability.  If there had been an elderly person using a came in this jerk’s sight, he’d probably have said something nasty about them, too.  And I will never make a judgment about another fan’s drinking, unless they were clearly very drunk, and acting like idiots.  But people like that usually end up getting kicked out by security.

A couple of minor incidents of assholery capped off our weekend.  Back at the hotel, we got on the elevator with some jerk with a couple of little kids.  The jerk actually told the kids it was okay for them to push every button so it would stop at every single floor, and it was done before anyone could stop them.  Fortunately, there are only six floors in this hotel, and we were on the 4th, but it was still annoying.  Just another idiot parents indulging his kids in bad behavior, just because it entertains the kids to behave this way.

Today, on the way home, we stopped at Bertucci’s for lunch.  As we were leaving, we encountered some jerk who was standing there, with his back to us, blocking the door, yap-yap-yapping on a cell phone.  A “few excuse us, pleases” did no good, even though we got louder each time.  Finally I started crumpling the paper bag I was carrying our boxed-up leftovers in, and the jerk finally moved.  But why could he not have stood somewhere else while talking on the phone?  Because he, like all the other assholes we encountered over this weekend, are selfish jerks who think that the entire universe revolves around them and their skeevy asses!

So last night, Christine the Curmudgeon was sitting in the Samuel Adams Bar & Grill at MerchantsAuto.com Stadium, watching the grounds crew getting the field ready for the Fisher Cats game that night, drinking a Sam Summer Ale, and waiting for Mr. Curmudgeon to show up.

He showed up, and asked me if I were sitting down.  Well, being that my ass was firmly planted on the bar stool, that was a dumb question.  But seriously, I was worried.  Did he get fired or laid off from his job?  I was afraid it was something catastrophic.

No, nothing like that!  His boss has to go to the Netherlands and meet some clients there, and he MIGHT want Mr. C. to accompany him.  However, Mr. C. does not want to go.  He’d end up joined at the hip to the boss the whole time, there’d be no time for any fun stuff, like sight-seeing, hanging out in the red-light district of Amsterdam and smoking legal weed, etc.  This isn’t a European tourist trip, nor is it something fun like a trip to the Orlando theme parks. If there was a bit of time allowed for sight-seeing, he might feel differently. But being stuck with the boss watching his every move, 24/7 is his idea of hell on earth. He’ll do it to keep his job, if it is at all possible, within reason.

HOWEVER, the real problem is that Mr. C. does not possess a valid passport.  He has an ancient expired passport from when he was in the Navy eons ago.  But he has never needed one since.  Back when we took a vacation up in Nova Scotia, Canada, a passport was not required to visit the Great White North.  It is now, though.

The trip is three weeks from today, leaving on July 10.  That may or may not be enough time for Mr. C. to get an expedited passport.  The wait for a regular one is currently 4-6 weeks, the travel.state.gov site is saying that an expedited one may take 2-3 weeks.  But some people say that they’ve been able to get a passport within 24 hours, without having to shell out hundreds of dollars to one of those “passport expedition service” that I’ve seen online.  And honestly, I’m skeptical about such services, anyway.  How do I know that we can’t do ourselves what they charge an arm and a leg for?  How do I know that they can guarantee a passport in time for this trip?  I don’t.  I fail to see how a third party service can make a government agency move any faster than it wants to.

But Mr. C’s boss is one of those people who expects things ON DEMAND.  If Mr. C. calls in sick, he expects Mr. C. to call a doctor and get an appointment with said doctor THAT DAY…even if it’s something like a 24 hour stomach bug that makes him gack and and have the runs for a day, something that passes through and is gone in a day.  Doctors do NOT see people on an emergency basis for stuff like that; what planet is this guy living on?  We’re lucky we can get a same-day appointment with a doctor for stuff that is far more serious than that!

Anyhoo, Mr. C. told the boss that he didn’t have a passport, and was not sure that he’d be able to get one in time.  Boss told him that there are ways to pay “a lot of money” to get it quicker.  For one thing, who knows how well that works, and for another, why should we spend that much money, when we don’t even know if Mr. C. will be picked to go?  Boss is still deciding between him and some other guy.  The sensible thing would be to go to the other guy and find out if he already has a passport, and if he does, pick him to go.  But tell Mr. C. to get a passport in case this comes up again in the future.

But this guy is a lot like the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert; he’s not very realistic about how things really operate in the world.  He thinks everyone is as rich as he is, and has passports because EVERYONE goes abroad for vacations, right?  He’ll likely pick Mr. C. to go, even if the other guy has a passport, and then threaten him with losing his job if he can’t get a passport in time.  Can he DO that?

Travel was NEVER a condition of employment.  If it were, chances are, Mr. C. would have either went ahead and applied for a passport so he’d be prepared, or turned down the job and went somewhere else.

I think it was a stinking thing to do, to put this pressure on an employee who already ha health problems (and yes, the boss knows about this), is taking blood pressure meds among other things, and spring such a thing on him with such little notice.  Now we’re both scared Mr. C. might lose his job if the passport cannot be issued in time for this stupid trip.  The jerk should just take the other guy if he has a passport, find someone else who does, or just go by his sorry self.

We don’t need this shit.

Christine the Curmudgeon wonders – do the celebrities who do commercials for home hair coloring products actually use these?  Or do they really go to expensive salons to get their coloring done?  I would think that there would be truth in advertising laws, but who knows for sure if they are actually obeyed.

I mean, I find it difficult to imagine someone like Sarah Jessica Parker going into the local CVS and buying a box of Garnier Nutrisse, which she shills on TV.  No more than I could imagine her fictional alter ego, Carrie Bradshaw buying shoes at Pay-Less during one of their BOGO sales.

I remember watching an episode of the Rachael Ray show a few months ago.  She had this dude from some hoity-toity hair salon as a guest, offering beauty tips.  He was telling viewers what NOT to do, and one of those things was to NEVER color your hair at home.  Interesting that they run ads for home hair color kits during this program!

That guy made me angry.  Not only do I use good old Nice & Easy at home, but I also cut my own hair, another thing he said not to ever do.  The cutting at home thing I can sort of see, not everybody can do it.  It’s not money that makes me do my hair stuff myself at home, it’s the attitude of many hair stylists.  Even at the cheapo place at the mall, they act as if they work on Newbury Street in Boston, home of many very pricey hair salons, where $400 haircuts are the norm.  They think that THEY are so self important that THEY get to decide how my hair is cut.  And it always ends up looking like crap.  If I’m paying for a service, I expect it to be done my way.  I am NOT a blank canvas for some lame wannabe artiste.

So I gave up, I’m happier with doing it myself.  I take the money I would have spent on a haircut and donate it to an animal charity.

I have NEVER had coloring done in a salon.  And I’ve only had one screw-up.  Once, many years ago, I decided I wanted to be a redhead.  So I did it.  It looked horrible.  So I stuffed it under a cap, went back to the store, and bought some blonde Nice & Easy, and dyed it back.  And no, my hair did not fall out of my head as a result.

Anyhoo…what is the average income of a typical Rachael Ray viewer?  I’m guessing that they are mostly stay-at-home wives and mothers, who may not have the money for salon hair coloring and such.  Then there are those who became unemployed due to the recession, they certainly have had to cut back on such luxuries.  Maybe they can’t afford upwards of $100 to get their hair colored, but they may be able to afford ten bucks for a box of Nice & Easy.

And I’m sure that Rachael herself is aware that money is tight for a lot of her viewers, as her food segments often include meals that are inexpensive to prepare, while still healthy and tasty.

But I’m not one to do something just because someone on a talk show says so.  I just watch Rach for the food and celebrity guests, and try to ignore the fashion and beauty police segments.

One more question – Donald Trump is now putting his name on an affordable mattress line, that I’ve been seeing advertised on TV. Does HE really sleep on one of these?

Christine the Curmudgeon is irritated with the self-appointed fashion police.  You know…these people who appear on TV talk shows and do makeovers on viewers.

Well, there was this one very annoying woman on Rachael Ray this morning who was talking about how not to look fat, without having to buy and use all sorts of weight loss products.  She went to this one woman’s house and made her toss out most of the clothes in her closet.

Anyway, what especially bothered me was one of the before and afters.  In the “before” shot, a woman was wearing glasses.  In the “after” shot, she was not.  The fashion cop woman made a big to-do over losing the glasses.

As someone who’s worn glasses since the age of seven, this highly offends me.  Glasses are not some optional fashion accessory, people who wear them need them in order to see!  I just can’t take them off and go around without them, because some fashion police bimbo thinks that women look better without them!

Well, you may ask, what about contact lenses?  Not everyone wants to or can wear them!  I tried them many years ago.  I never did get used to them, never could feel comfortable sticking them onto my eyeballs.  I’m feeling a bit squeamish just typing this right now.

Anyhoo, to me, contacts were just more trouble than they were worth, and I happily went back to glasses.  If the fashion police don’t like it, well, they can kiss my butt.  Srsly.

So, don’t let the fashion police make you feel bad about anything.  Glasses are cool, and not just for men!

Christine the Curmudgeon was surfing the web, looking for stuff to blog about, and came upon this site:  Cars For Girls.  Of course, it’s PINK.  Can’t have ANYTHING for women that is NOT pink, now, can we?

The whole idea of this site nauseates me.  It implies that women are too stupid to visit regular car websites to learn stuff.  They need to have a SPAYSHUL PINK SITE just for them.  Sheesh, give me a floopin’ break!

At least it doesn’t seem to contain ads for high heeled shoes, makeup, and anti aging products. At least that’s something. Sort of.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a barf bag.  But NOT a pink one.  kthxbai.